The 17th of December. Eight years ago, today, my father’s life changed. He had the ocean shrunk to a few square meters room. He used to sail around the world being away from home for months. Now he goes out of the house only a few times a year but “home” is even further away from him than ever before. My mother, she works hard and lives her own life, they’ve been in an informal “divorce” for many years but she takes care of him, of course.
I haven’t lived with my parents for almost nine years and every time I go there – it feels like I enter my past, it’s never easy. I can still hear them fighting. My father’s sickness is looping in my life, constantly reminding me that I cannot get over it. One day I realized I’d taken no pictures of my family in years, specially of my father. Well, it is hard to let yourself be a part of it and not run away, hard to live under such circumstances when nothing can be changed. Acceptance is the thing that I’m still trying to achieve. I think in some way anyone could recognize their family situations while going through my project and I hope my photographs will show that acceptance is not impossible. This project is helping me to abstract myself from it in another way, through understanding, through absorbing instead of forgetting and keeping my feelings far away from me. (December, 2012.)
“Melancholy were the sounds on a winter’s night”, Virginia Woolf